Why Pillow Talk is Good For Your Relationship

Tell your significant other to stay in bed


Ah, pillow talk. You’ve certainly heard the slang. Pillow talk means the following, according to Urban Dictionary’s top-rated definition of the term: The conversation that happens after making out/sex. It's infinitely better than normal conversation because there's touching involved.


We know what is pillow talk, but do you know what pillow talk does? According to researchers, it’s not just a feeling—there are real studies behind it that show real results. Let’s get into it in brief. If you’re with your partner in bed right now, you two might as well read it together! It may be romantic, but no promises.


Pillow talk strengthens new and ongoing relationships

Amanda Denes, a communication professor from the University of Connecticut is an expert on interpersonal relationships. She surveyed a group of 200 in sexual relationships. Denes asked participants to assess several aspects of their relationships soon after sex with their partner. She asked them to provide information on what they did during pillow talk, like what they shared with their partner, how satisfied they were with the relationship after pillow talk and even if there was any regret with what they shared during pillow talk.


Denes found tons of positives—increased ratings of trust, relationship satisfaction and closeness with their significant other. Yeah, sounds like the kind of things you want to maintain and increase with your partner.


Pillow talk helps navigate uncertainty after a relationship mishap

Denes also did a deep dive on the the role pillow talk played in navigating breaches in relationship rules set by a couple. A consequence of a rule breach has tons of negative effects, like doubts in their partner’s commitment in the relationship. Simply, it’s a loss of trust, and anyone in a relationship can tell you that trust is essential.


How do you get through a relationship hurdle like that? Pillow talk’s one way. Denes spoke to 36 couples who’ve experienced uncertainty or a loss of trust in their relationship. She found that pillow talk was linked with positive relationship outcomes for couples going through turmoil. Denes says couples “reported greater satisfaction, commitment, and investment” after a month’s worth of pillow talk. While we wouldn’t wish such a difficulty in your relationship, if it ever happens, pillow talk may be a way to help you navigate the challenge.


Bonus fact: Men and women do pillow talk differently

Denes (yes, she seems to be well-versed in this subject), observed that women seem to be way more perceptive and attentive to relationship maintenance. Overall, women in general saw the utility of something like pillow talk, and purposely took part in it because they just knew it was good for the relationship. Men were more aloof about it and did not engage in it as a maintenance behavior. Go figure, but who’s surprised? To all the hetero ladies out there, men thank you for your time and effort.


In conclusion, pillow talk is great! Like, scientifically observed to be great! With such positive outcomes, make sure to keep pillow talk a routine of your relationship—it’s only better with it.

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